As I was following the recent disaster in the world's economy, I did find one glimmer of hope and a "golden opportunity":
What if....
One were to negotiate and obtain the diving board concession for the NYSE building at Wall & Broad for a "special event" celebrating the halving of the Dow-Jones? All diving competition entrants would be charged a nominal, appropriate, but cost effective fee for our services.
The logistics would be pretty straight-forward... among them would be:
- lease the roof section of the NYSE building facing Wall Street
- buy up or rent a number of good quality used pool type diving boards
- arrange with the NYPD to have the block-long section of Wall Street blocked off to all traffic for this "special event"
- have Velaity draft up the "final wishes & disposal" contract for the competitive divers
- form a judging panel of financial peers to determine the winners for best form and grace in their final dive
- contract with Allied Waste to pick-up the remains and deliver them to the funeral home of choice
- arrange with the Bates Casket (manufacturing co.) for cheap wood and cardboard coffins (probably by the train-load!)
- buy a several acre track of land that used to be a waste disposal site for all the burials
- hire a non-denominational celebrant to provide the final rites
...and so on...
Anyone care to go into this business?
It might be a lot of fun.... 
--Nick
PS: If it weren't for bad taste, I'd have no taste at all....
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